The Voices of Martyrs by Maurice Broaddus

Author:Maurice Broaddus
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Rosarium Publishing
Published: 2017-09-09T04:00:00+00:00

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Gentle snores drifted across the gulf between Von and Earl, the exigencies of life reduced to the way of slumber. In bed, in dreams, anything was possible. She could go anywhere she wanted to and start anew. Like clearing away dishes after a tea party: she could give the illusion of tending to someone’s need without any real exertion or risk on her part, even if the someone in need was herself. Beyond this place of misery and anger, surviving the wounds of childhood, but not wanting its scars to last the first, second, or third generation.

Her mother made sense to her in a way. Von thought of the story she told herself about her life, like she were cursed and bad things hunted her like a hungry lion hot on the scent of a wounded gazelle. But it all came down to a choice. That was what her mother was, a series of choices, the choice to strangle relationships to within an inch of their lives, the choice to remain in a bad marriage, in a situation that made her miserable. Von thought about the picture of her grandmother, mother, and aunties and saw her future. Bleak. Miserable. Bitter. One day she might stumble into the living room of her child and mutter about her ingratitude, the refrain to her same, sad family song, ticking off the litany of offenses, both real and imagined. Each slight clung to and nursed like a coddled infant at her venomous bosom. She didn’t want to join the ranks of sad desperation. She wanted to be free from it all, to go where she could heal from the mistakes of her past, to be someone … whole.

To the third generation, the voice now whispered.

She would be the master of her fate, not the legacy of her mother’s fears. And she dared anyone to tell her otherwise. It was her choice.

Perhaps it wouldn’t be too late to create a life of joy with Earl. She wasn’t sure he even much liked her these days. Nothing would spite her mother like her finding happiness. For a brief moment, Von wondered what life would be like if everyone told the truth. Whenever words landed in a way that cut. Whenever actions failed to live up to expectations or frustrated. Whenever life hurt or the heart was denied. To live in the open, in complete honesty, to forge life from truth. Life was messy, and there were no easy answers, especially after so much deception. She pondered how to begin repairs to correct the mistakes of the past and move forward. She just wanted a chance at finding happiness. If not for herself … her thoughts drifted off while ticking off mistakes to correct.

She patted her belly and dreamed of red.

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